Graphic Design Ability Key Issue in USG Race, New Poll Finds

by Anshu Siripurapu

As the Undergraduate Student Government presidential race heats up, candidates of the major tickets are campaigning furiously, trying to win endorsements and lock up key constituencies before the big day.

But a new USC Dornsife/Los Angeles Times poll indicates the candidates may be working harder than they need to be. The poll indicates the number one issue concerning undergraduate voters in this election is one that no candidate has mentioned in their platform: how cool their profile picture is.

“I absolutely adore the color scheme that the Menard-Rini campaign is using,” Monica Lewinski, a sophomore majoring in public relations said, “They definitely have my vote.”

More than half of those surveyed said they determined who to vote for based on the candidate’s graphic design ability.

“Yeah, the Menard-Rini website is slick,” Frank Underwood, a junior majoring in corruption said, “But I just love the way the White-Kelly campaign brings out the “US” in USC.”

Dan Schnur, the Director of the Jesse M. Unruh Institute of Politics and a preeminent authority on political strategy, said that the candidates should embrace this shift in voter priorities.

“What this means is that the candidates can stop wasting their time and energy on what they are saying, and focus on how they are saying it, which is what ultimately matters the most to voters,” he said.

The telephone survey of 523 registered USC undergraduate voters was conducted for USC Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences and the Los Angeles Times from Jan. 10-Jan. 29. The margin of error is 55.9 percentage points overall and 99.9 points for the freshman subgroup.

Editor’s note:  USG is a self-congratulatory gravy train and the Sack of Troy does not endorse any candidate in particular.