A Tour of the Fountains at USC
1. The Finger Fountain
The finger fountain is one of USC’s most iconic water features. It gets its name from the fact that one night freshman year I fingered a girl behind the fountain while walking back from a party. For some reason the name has really caught on since then.
2. The Trousdale Fountain
An artistic piece by designer Yon Yonson attempting to depict what it is like for a male to urinate after ejaculating.
3. The Marshall Fountain
Look at all that power, that raw power of water and power and men. Located in front of USC’s Marshall School of business this fountain stands as a testament to all of the power that Marshall Grads have, demonstrating how powerful they all are, as well as how they will own the rest of us one day, if they don’t already do. Just marvel at that raw power and quiver, peasants and comm majors. The designer of this fountain obviously had a huge penis, as do all Marshall Students as well.
4. The Engineering Quad Fountain
A complicated and multi-leveled fountain, it is emblematic of the difficulty engineering students have talking to girls. Both end up gushing out liquid by themselves at the end of the day.
5. The Inverted Fountain
Whatever you have to say about it, that’s what she said.
6. The Fountain next to Traveler
This fountain changes color at night, but some of the Red and Yellow lights aren’t in the right place. Screw this fountain.
7. That Hose behind Leavey that Keeps Dripping
Like this fountain, I sometimes question why I deserve to go to this school.
8. The Crying Frat Star Trapped in the Closet by Societal Expectations of Masculinity
9. C.L. Max Nikias
Yup, he’s a fountain too.
