Sports Car to Replace Traveler as USC Mascot

by Staff

TROUSDALE PKWY – With a stunning display at the base of Tommy Trojan, USC announced yesterday the retirement of its longtime mascot, Traveler, replacing him with a brand-new sports car.

“Traveler has served us well, of course, for the past 53 years,” President Nikias announced at the unveiling. “But as we move towards a world-class research institution, we need to reflect the lives and goals of our students in our mascot. And so I give you: Cruiser!”

Students cheered the arrival of Cruiser, a Ferrari F430 that will make the traditional lap around the Coliseum following every Trojan touchdown – this also means Tommy Trojan will begin wearing Armani while driving.

“I could never really relate to a warrior horse and a 2,500 year-old perfect physical specimen,” admitted John Berges, a creative accounting major. “Honestly, I can’t really comprehend anything before the iPhone 4. But a $150,000 Ferrari? That’s why I came to USC!”