USC Administration Having Really Tough Week, Asks for Five-Day Extension for New Web Registration

by Staff

USC–Earlier yesterday morning, USC administration sent an email letting students know it really enjoys this semester and everything, but it could use a little help.

The administration went on to remind the student body about upcoming registration deadlines, but also emphasize that there are a lot of moving pieces in its life right now.

At least three administrators report dead grandmas, one of them has a “family thing,” and two more have migraines. None of these issues are in any way related to the release of the new web registration system.

A panicked Dean of Student Affairs Ainsley Carry sent out an email to the entire university reading, “Hey, I hate to be that guy, but I lost the notes for how to operate the new registration system, could any of you send them to me?  PLS RESPOND ASAP!!!! -Thx Ainsley.”

In response to student concern about the delay of Permit to Register dates, USC web administrators assured students that any classes they had already scheduled would “totally make it into the final web registration system. No worries.”

Attached to the email stating the delay, was a short list including all of the previous registration dates and the correlating new ones. In order to figure out when your new registration date is, USC Administration has created a fun and useful acronym:

T- Take your original Permit to RegiSCter

R- Remember to add the 5 extra days

O- Obviously this isn’t related to the new registration system

J- Just let us take care of this, everything will be fine

A- AbSColutely do not tell the board of trustees about this

N- No this is not related to the new regiSCtration system

S- Stop implying this is because of the new registration system, it’s not.

Fight on and remember to obey the five traits of a Trojan!!!

USC administrators ended by commenting that the Vice President of Registration would be “leaving the university for other opportunities,” but that this too was unrelated to the registration system upgrade.