Neil deGrasse Tyson Rides Jet Ski Off Edge of Earth

by Kirby N. Jorgensen

LEFT EDGE OF EARTH — Last month Dr. B.O.B. published his findings proving the planet is flat due to the fact that in the picture you cannot see the earth curve. Immediately the scientific world turned upside down.

TV Astrophysics sensation Neil deGrasse Tyson immediately took to twitter in response to this by releasing a statement that called the validity of B.O.B.’s findings into question. What took place next was an interesting string of diss raps, but yesterday evening this culminated in a disaster.

Late at night at the nation’s foremost astrophysicist mixer, Tyson had a verbal dispute with B.O.B., deciding he would disprove B.O.B. by jet skiing from one side of the planet to the other.

He then proceeded to ride a stolen jet ski down the street and into the water. To Dr. Tyson’s great surprise, he not only found the earth to be flat, but he sailed clear off of it, and into the merciless vacuum of space.