USG Does Free Food Thing to Raise Awareness About USG

by Chai Karve

CAMPUS CENTER — The Undergraduate Student Government allows students to take action and enact change on campus. Their latest project? Some free food thing to let people know they exist and are trying their hardest.

The event, USG’s In-N-Out for Desperate Reach, was blasted through an aggressive social media campaign using that one poster design everyone knows.

“I can’t wait ‘til the student body realizes how much we exist,” noted Associate Vice Chairman and Director of Intra-Organizational Outreach Ty Foster. “USG is changing campus just by being around. The sooner people realize that, the sooner they’ll realize it.”

“I learned a lot from this event,” conceded junior Devon Sachs. “Like, did you know you can get burgers animal style too??” When asked about USG, Sachs responded, “who?”

“Oh, USG!” realized Sachs. “I didn’t know what they did or why they existed in the first place, but now I know the president makes a whole bunch of money.”

Several students walked by the event, unwilling to engage with the monolithic organization that occupies the hearts and minds of those heavily invested in it.

The event was branded a success before it began and celebrated as one after it concluded. USG feels confident that they do, in fact, still exist.