Slutty Cat Dresses Up as Respectable, Educated Woman for Halloween

by Chai Karve

MENLO – Trailblazer, feminist, and feline. These are words that come to mind when describing Felicity, local basic cat. Rather than go as a slutty cat once again, she’s made the bold decision to attend that night’s jubilant festivities as a respectable, educated woman majoring in international relations at a large research university.

“I felt constrained by my options and the expectation put upon me by this holiday,” explained Felicity. “Rather than do something safe and sexy, I decided to purrsue a different kind of costume. Meow. ”

Donning a pair of slimming American Eagle jeans, an earth-toned sweater, a pineapple themed button-down, Doc Martens, and a pair of Warby Parker glasses that said “I’m smart and probably smarter than you,” Felicity hit the town.

“Meow. People really like that I’m not pussyfooting around,” said Felicity. “Meow. I think they respect the utter simplicity of my costume.”

Felicity went home that night with Tom Cruise’s character in Top Gun, who was dressed up as a complete douche.