Student Graduates Semester Early to Get Jump Start on Unemployment

by Joey Rayburn

USC – Senior Roger Morris has just finished college an entire semester early, meaning he’s about to a have huge head start standing in the unemployment line.

Morris, an English major, decided to take nine classes last semester, which allowed him to complete his required units. “All of my professors keep telling us that we should just expect to be unemployed for a few years after graduation,” Morris explained. “So, I figured, let’s just start the ball rolling now!”

With his head start, Morris is planning on marking off items on his post-graduation an entire six months before his fellow classmates. “I’m thinking I’ll run out of money and have to move back in with my parents by early-February,” Morris said. “That’ll keep me on track to being able to explain to my distant relatives that I’m ‘in-between things’ at Easter dinner.”

When asked what he’ll do with all of his newfound free time, Morris had a simple answer: “I think being a disappointment is about the only thing I’ll be doing for the next few years.”