Roommate Really Glad You Think the Skeleton is a Decoration

By Jose Cardenas

LOS ANGELES, CA — As Halloween rolls around, University of Southern California senior Richard Mortis feels relieved that he doesn’t need to move the skeleton of a recent murder victim out of his apartment, because all of his roommates think it’s a decoration. 

“Honestly, the timing on it just worked perfectly,” Mortis said. 

Mortis’ roommate, Gene Button, found the skeleton while looking for a clean shirt in the closet he shares with Mortis. Button never found a clean shirt, but he did take out the skeleton. However, instead of reporting it, he brought it to the couch and took a selfie with it. 

When the two other roommates came in, they dressed it up with sunglasses and an FUCLA shirt. They even made TikTok videos with the skeleton, making it dance and using it as a prop for midterm jokes. 

Mortis said he was so surprised to find out his roommates cleaned the skeleton and the entire apartment for their videos, erasing any evidence of foul play. Now he’ll never get arrested.

Said Mortis, “I knew USC overlooks a ton of scandals, but I had no idea they would literally let you get away with murder.”