Struggling Writer Stands Beside Pile of Crumpled Computers

By Amanda Douglas

NORFOLK, VA –Last Thursday, Erin Rogers found herself once again surrounded by a pile of crumpled computers after trying to work on her novella.

In the six years since she began the project, it has morphed from a self-described “tale about love in the face of hate with a Barefoot Contessa-like protagonist” to “something about boats.” Rogers has gone through more computers during this period than the average family uses in a lifetime.

The struggling writer has been surprised by the financial burden of her passion. “I knew I might not make a lot of money writing, but I didn’t think it’d be this expensive,” she said, unwrapping yet another new 15-inch Macbook Pro. “I’m seriously spending over twelve grand a week.”

While the expense is problematic, Rogers has been grateful for all the help the Genius Bar has provided, calling them “modern-day saints.”

The Genius Bar, however, is perplexed by Rogers’ behavior. “She comes in three times a week and requests free repairs to dozens of computers,” stated employee Amelia Marks. “Every time, we ask that she confirm the damage was an accident so she can utilize his warranty, and every time she says it was a ‘crime of passion’ before tip-toeing out with this weird smile.”

Despite the problems that accompany such frequent spending, Rogers stands by her creative process. “I’d like to think I’m traditional. Even though I met my husband on Tinder, I still talk to him sometimes, just like the couples in those black-and-white movies,” Rogers explained. “As an old soul, I want to respect the way writers have always worked. I just happen to type rather than handwrite.”

Later that week, Rogers was writing a note on her 2018 Mac Mini when she made a mistake. She carefully applied Wite-Out to the screen and continued her thought with meticulous caution.