Elon Musk Admits How Much He Would Pay To Say A Slur

By Levi Elias

“You know that feeling when the one thing you want to do is the one thing that everybody tells you not to do? Well when you have as much money as I do, you can just pay for your dreams to come true,” says Elon Musk after offering up 44 billion dollars to say his slur of choice. Like a true altruist and to the disappointment of shareholders, the 44 billion will be evenly split up amongst every member of whichever group he offends. FanDuel Sportsbook has begun accepting bets for which slur people anticipate Musk will choose for his flagship tweet.