Breaking: Party Rock is in the House Tonight

By Izzy Ster

LOS ANGELES, CA – After an in-depth analysis of reports surrounding the return of Party Rock, officials have determined that it is, in fact, in the House tonight.

The House, which is home to an array of street urchins looking for a “good time,” is a haven to many looking “for the drank” and “to run through these hoes like Drano.” Kimberly Topper, a House resident, was in a state of shock upon hearing the newest development. “I just can’t believe it. Everyone was just having a good time, you know? And we were gonna make you lose your mind,” she said before breaking down and crying. “Everybody should just have a good time!” 

Topper continued, saying she just wanted everyone to “shake that.” Other House residents commented “that’s all they wanna see.”

Officials have not determined the direct cause of the return of Party Rock to the House, but have a promising lead. “After a thorough investigation, we have been led to determine the existence of Party Rock, which is causing detrimental damage to the House, primarily due to daily incidents of shufflin’.” To which they responded, “Sorry for party rocking.”