Holy Shit: Person In Your Class Last Semester Also In Your Class This Semester

By Jackson Parker

LOS ANGELES, CA – Sources have confirmed that the guy who just walked into your classroom looks familiar because he was in “How The Body Works” with you last semester. No fucking way! The man, whose name you think is Brayden or Brandon or something like that, has seemingly followed your lead in making the jump from a GE D to a GE B. Despite being absolutely unbearable in your lab, maybe your shared interest in Gender Studies In America will be what brings you together. Either way, the time you and Bryson share in Taper won’t soon be forgotten.

Braxton’s highlights from last semester include asking to borrow a pencil during a test and then never returning it, calling the TA a bitch under his breath during your 9 A.M. discussion, and giggling nonstop through his presentation on the reproductive system. In his introduction to the class, Bryce explained how he decided to enroll “because it’s one of those GEs where, like, it counts for two slots?” before insisting he actually has a deep-rooted interest in “women and stuff like that.” Brody then proceeded to act confused when asked to give his pronouns, and was then promptly assigned to your group for the final project on sexism in the workplace.