Brat to School! 5 Must-Have School Supplies That Will Pop Your Pussy #vondutch
By Julian Avrith
LOS ANGELES, CA– What’s up, coke whores?! Who’s ready to transition to Brat Summer to Brat To School by doing lines in the WPH bathroom instead of Zebulon! This one’s to all my learning girls in the classroom bumping that (that being their GRADES, duh!). Whether you’re in PSYCH 100 or the Boiler Room, these five little bitches have you covered #365 days of the year. We know it’s so confusing sometimes to be a girl, so if the fall semester’s scaring you, this slutty list will make you just want to drive to the Village Target. We asked Charli XCX her favorite item off this list and she said “Everything is… glitter gel pens”. Obviously.
- Mechanical Pencils
Even though #2 Pencils are a #ClubClassic, Mechanical Pencil boots down the house like a SWAT team. Just make sure you know what width it is, so you don’t have to #Guess the size of your pencil lead later. You can even use the lead to pretend to shoot up your arm! It’s hilarious and so party girl of you.
- Folder
One of the most influential artists in the school supply scene, it transformed the realm of paper storage as we know it. Just like Charli XCX forever changed music. Anyways, you might be she, but you’ll never be foldHer.
- Eraser
Girl, sometimes #school is so confusing, but there’s nothing you can’t work out on the remix with an eraser! No seriously, don’t only use a pen. That’s just fucking embarrasing.
- Stapler
OK, let’s cut the bullshit. I’d like to think if you read this far you are actually interested in this subject like I am. You want some real advice? Well, here it is: buy yourself a personal stapler. This isn’t going to be a day to day item, but one day, your WRIT 340 professor is going to ask for something printed and stapled. It will happen to you, and the tiny classroom in GFS won’t have a stapler. You only need to buy it once, and they sell ones small enough you can put it in one of those little pockets in your bag and forget about it. Trust me. I’m trying to help you.
And let’s all be honest with ourselves anyway; Charli XCX peaked at Vroom Vroom (and to be clear, only the good half).
- Lined Paper
What’s better than normal paper? COCAINE! #LineOfCocaine #Brattoschool!!
