Former Stout Burger Location Converts Into Spirit Halloween
By Izzy Ster
LOS ANGELES, CA – It’s that time of year again! We all finally have an excuse to gorge on a bag of mixed variety Halloween candy you grabbed on a whim from Target and get to be the sluttiest versions of ourselves. It also means that Spirit Halloween stores are randomly spawning around town… and the latest victim is the still-abandoned Stout Burger storefront.
What once was an upscale gastropub boasting a $19 burger (which did not include fries), is now the horror-filled wonderland with delayed jump-scare animatronics and beloved costumes like “Adult Orphan Boy Witch Costume”, “Adult Blue Speed Mouse Costume” or “Adult Boy of the Rings.”
The sudden appearance of the halloween warehouse proved to be quite the spook to students, including Village resident and USC sophomore Jessie Reynolds. “I literally live above Stout Burgers and have no idea when the Spirit Halloween moved in. I swear to god it just… appeared. But at least I don’t have to rely on Amazon or other fast fashion platforms for my costumes. Now, I can support a mom and pop and ghoul business by shopping at Spirit Halloween. Thanks Spirit Halloween!”
It is rumored that the Spirit Halloween, much like every single student’s immune system following Halloweekend, will disappear into the forgotten past of time promptly at midnight on November 3rd.
