Girl Gets Parents to Fund Trip to Cabo by Saying She Can Get Around Tariffs

By Violet Rose Wang

LOS ANGELES, CA – Trying to get your parents to spend even more money on your broke ass? Parents no longer believe LA is “just that expensive”? Well buckle your asshole and strap in your balls, because this girl just found a solution: argue it’s financially savvy to spend Spring Recess in Cabo because that way you can get around Mexico’s new tariffs.

When Sophomore Eden Berries’ friend group decided on a trip to Cabo that would ruin their friendships forever, she knew that she was fucked. “My parents definitely won’t fund a fourth vacation this year, I already blew my allowance on hit-and-runs, and my parents don’t believe the ‘dead friend funeral’ story anymore,” she explained. “But then I remembered those tariff things on Mexico and how they make avocados expensive? And I came up with a plan so crazy, it just might work.”

Berries eagerly texted to her parents her idea of going to Mexico to buy tons of produce and resell it in America at cheaper prices than retail, while still having a sizable profit margin. Sadly, her math was completely wrong and most of it was incoherent, but somehow her parents approved it anyway. “We’re just glad she’s trying… Something,” said Holden Berries III, local oil tycoon.

At press time, the TSA had detained Berries at the US-Mexico border for avocado trafficking.