Sweetness of “Local USC Moms and Dads” Facebook Group Sullied by Custody Fight in Comments Section
by Dan Toomey LOS ANGELES, CA — What began as a sparkle of hope amid a semester of despondency was Read more
Author: Dan Toomey
Student Running to Class Gripping Freshly Printed Essay Like It’s the Goddamn Olympic Torch
By Dan Toomey TROUSEDALE PARKWAY — Students gawked in anticipation and embarrassment on Friday as a heaving, perspiring freshman sprinted Read more
Oceana Seafood Files Lawsuit Against USC After School Falsely Told Them People Would Eat There
By Dan Toomey Los Angeles, CA – Village newcomer Oceana Seafood became the latest in a long line of accusers Read more
Sam Darnold Spotted Wandering Through Streets of Newark in Search of Nearest Cupcake ATM
by Dan Toomey Residents of Newark, New Jersey were stunned to find former USC quarterback and New York Jets rookie Read more
Report: EVKitty Now Bullying Transfer Students for Swipes
by Dan Toomey With a shocking change of character, the once-cuddly, beloved EVKitty is now intimidating transfer students for meal Read more
Dr. Drew Casper Dissolves into Silver Mist Mid-Lecture, Ascends Beyond Mortality
by Dan Toomey NORRIS THEATER -- CTCS 190 students were thrown into shock on Monday when, in the middle of Read more