Disney Buys the Vatican, Declares Crusades Non-Canon
by Drew Thomas-Nathan Burbank, CA -- After two decades spent purchasing beloved storytelling institutions, the Walt Disney Company has managed Read more
Author: Drew Thomas-Nathan
Bible Fan’s Favorite Part is the Cousin Sex
by Drew Thomas-Nathan JONESBOROUGH, TN -- An explosive revelation arrived straight out of Saint Peter’s Church as 14-year-old Jacob Barrow Read more
Millennials Are Killing All This West Side Story Choreography
by Drew Thomas-Nathan SEATTLE, WA -- The millennial generation has been on a murder spree recently, killing everything this country Read more
Teacher’s Pet Pees on Rug
by Drew Thomas-Nathan TAPER HALL -- Many college students feel pressure to engage with faculty thanks to the rat race Read more
Freshmen Move Empty Smirnoff to Trash Like They’re Hiding a Body
by Drew Thomas-Nathan BIRNKRANT RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE -- A group of freshmen spent the last several days getting an empty bottle Read more
Study Finds Stabbing Knife Into Table Still Best Way to Get Everyone’s Attention
by Drew Thomas-Nathan LOS ANGELES -- A newly published scientific study found that the best way to get a room’s Read more
Little Sh*t Thinks Bar Mitzvah Actually Makes Him a Man
by Drew Thomas-Nathan TEMPLE -- Puny twelve-year-old Adam Putzberg was seen walking out of synagogue with a new spring in Read more