Trump Repeals Obama-Era Law of Gravity
By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the latest move in his war on regulation, today President Donald Trump signed
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New Stimulus Bill Will Send “Get Well Soon” Balloon To Every Coronavirus Patient
By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON D.C. – In a sweeping new stimulus bill introduced Monday, Congress announced that every single coronavirus
Read moreViolent Terrorist Puts Pickles on Cop’s Burger Even Though They Specifically Said No Pickles
By Jonathan Krone LUBBOCK, TEXAS – At a local McDonald’s, a violent and dangerous terrorist made an attempt on an
Read moreNation’s Politicians Vow To Talk About Police Reform Until They’re Re-Elected
By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a rousing call that they really hope their constituents will hear, the nation’s Read more
Funny Zoom Background Last Vestige of Abandoned Personality
By Jonathan Krone CLEARWATER, MI — Top archaeologists confirmed yesterday that a humorous background on Zoom was the last remaining Read more
Local Man Reaches Bottom of Pornhub
By Jonathan Krone HOBOKEN, NJ — During a long and unsuccessful search for the perfect porno to stroke his sausage Read more
“Hey, This is Kinda Neat,” Reports Local Man After Washing His Hands for the First Time
by Jonathan Krone Dayton, OH — After widespread fear surrounding the recent outbreak of coronavirus, local man Dennis Whitman finally Read more
Carol Folt Praised for Covering Up All the Scandals So Far
By Jonathan Krone LOS ANGELES, CA — Speaking behind closed doors in a shadowy lair, chairman of the University of Read more
Trump Legal Team Employs Watertight “I Know You Are But What Am I?” Defense
By Jonathan Krone WASHINGTON, DC — Several days into the impeachment trial of Donald Trump, his legal team has unveiled Read more
Coolest Sixth Grader Ever Throws Ball Far
By Jonathan Krone JEFFERSON MIDDLE SCHOOL — Local sixth grader Jeffrey Sanderson cemented his status as the undisputed king of Read more