Freshman Already Expert at Dodging Pamphlets
by Matt Hanisch USC — After just a few months in college, freshman Jacob Miller has already mastered the art Read more
Author: Matt Hanisch
Rampant Stomach Virus Goes Undetected in New North Because Barfing All Night Is Normal There
by Matt Hanisch USC — The norovirus, which has infected 103 students since October 26, causes vomiting, nausea, and diarrhea Read more
Netflix Adds “& Chill” Section Featuring Several Hours of Background Noise
by Matt Hanisch LOS GATOS, CA — Based on feedback from numerous sources, Netflix has discovered that its viewers no Read more
Dakota Access Pipeline Finds Alt. Route Through Black Neighborhood
by Matt Hanisch LAKE OAHE, ND — After enduring several protests from members of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe, developers Read more
Scientists Calculate the 100th Letter of LGBTQA
by Matt Hanisch LOS ANGELES, CA -- Scientists have long wondered about the increasing number of letters in LGBTQA+, but Read more