Girlboss Alert! Local Woman Uses Neck Massager as Neck Massager
By Alexandra Ornes LOS ANGELES, CA – In a total #girlboss moment last Tuesday, Annie Bridger used her neck massager
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Local
Girlboss Alert! This Southern Florida Gas Station Just Had a “Glow Up”
By Emily Torp CAPE CORAL, FL – This girl (gas station) is on fire! Literally! A Southern Florida Shell Gas
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New Amazon Alexa Feature Orders Tums Every Time A Juicy Toot is Audibly Detected
By Emily Torp SEATTLE, WA – Amazon Headquarters just announced that Alexa will soon be able to automatically order Tums
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Area Man Dies After Eating Raw Donkey Meat, Girlfriend says He Died “Doing What He Loved”
By Emily Torp LAS VEGAS, NV – George Glass, of Henderson, passed away following a tragic incident involving consuming raw
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Local Woman Creates Pinterest Board to Escape The Reality That She Will Never Achieve Her Dreams
By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA – Despite creating a Pinterest board full of aspirations of what she wants to
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New Head of CDC Says Batman Doesn’t Have to Wear a Mask Anymore
By Drew Thomas-Nathan
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Astrology Alert! My Son Has Cancer
By Mia Young
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Group Email Sent Specifically to Remind One Person
By Rachel Michelman LOS ANGELES, CA–A group email sent out to twelve different people last Monday was actually only sent
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Area Man No Longer Area Man After Fleeing Country To Evade Tax Fraud
By Mia Young OMAHA, NE – Area man Robert Peterson has rescinded his title of “area man” after being forced
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Local 6 Year Old Fed Up with Sinful Hubris of Man
By Darrien Snyder LOS ANGELES, CA – Li’l Timmy, a local 6-year-old boy, is fed up with mankind’s superciliousness. Timmy
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