Racist Uncle Outdone This Year By Alt-Right Cousin
by Veronica Marks PASADENA, CA - As the Simmons family gathered on Thursday to celebrate Thanksgiving, they found that their Read more
Politics
Shocker: This Republican Congressman Has a Normal Sex Life
by Nolan Jones WASHINGTON-- In a press conference last Thursday, Congressman Larry Johnson (R-MN) shocked the nation by announcing that Read more
New Research Concludes Three Alt Rights Do Not Make An Alt Left
by Colin Mullins HARVARD, CONN. -- After less than a minute of analysis, researchers have concluded that three “alt-rights” do Read more
Area Man Fiscally Conservative But Socially Awkward
by Veronica Marks LOS ANGELES, CA -- In a time of deep political division, area man Chase Stuart defies the Read more
“I’m Doing Absolutely Fantastic” Shouts Donald Trump Swarmed By Bees
by Ian Riley WASHINGTON DC -- A recent public event in the Rose Garden was cut short when a swarm Read more
Trump and Aides Play Pin the Signature on the Executive Order
by Kim Rogers and Jack Hackett OVAL OFFICE -- Settling into the White House, President Donald Trump and his aides Read more
Trump Announces Presidential Pet: Infertile White Tiger Named Maserati
by Ryan Zubery NEW YORK, NY -- In an address given from his gold-plated Manhattan penthouse, best described as a Read more
Progressive Man Defies Gender Roles, Waits for Girl to Ask Him Out
by Matt Hanisch LOS ANGELES, CA — Self-proclaimed progressive Louis Adams-Smith took a bold step last week when he decided to Read more
“People Need to Be More Open-Minded,” Asserts Woman Who Unfriended Everyone with Different Views
by Christine Politte SILVER LAKE, CA -- Saddened by the country’s deep ideological divisions, local woman Marilyn Reed made a Read more
Hillary Clinton Hangs Up Spurs, Moseys Off Into Sunset
by Jack Hackett AMERICA -- After failing to make it into the presidential office on Tuesday, Hillary Clinton called it Read more