Kevin McCarthy Fills Rejection Punch Card, Earns Free Frosty

By Izzy Ster WASHINGTON, D.C. — After Rep. Kevin McCarthy lost an 11th vote for Speaker of the House, the

Secretary of Transportation Hires Hundreds of Children to Kick The Back of Your Fucking Seat

By Bill Rockas WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of Transportation, Pete Buttigieg, has instituted an expansive network of juvenile children to

By Levi Elias ATLANTA, GA — This Tuesday, December 6th, Georgia Senate candidates Herschel Walker and Raphael Warnock will engage

By Bill Rockas CASPER, WY – Through Twitter, Truth.Social, and your step dad’s group chat, election deniers everywhere are expressing

By Audrey Serrano LOS ANGELES, CA — Political scientists have determined that the underlying reason for Rick Caruso’s mayoral loss

By Audrey Serrano PALM BEACH, FL — One-term president and infinite-term tax evader Donald Trump has selected pop singer Shakira

By Levi Elias TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA – Current Florida governor, Ron DeSantis, stepped down this morning from his side hustle government

By Sarah Cortina PALM BEACH, FL — After the FBI raided his Mar-a-Lago estate, Donald Trump insisted that incriminating documents

By Jackson Irvine CHINESE TAIPEI—The United States Speaker of the House touched down in Chinese Taipei on Tuesday, much to

By Lexa Ornes WASHINGTON, DC — With the news that Biden has been diagnosed with Covid-19, his team told the