“I Can Fix Him” Says Bob the Builder’s Wife
By Jack Martino BOBSVILLE – On Sunday evening, celebrity contractor Robert Builder II was arrested for driving a dump truck
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World
Rejected Met Gala Themes
Our journalists at The Sack of Troy obtained leaked documents from the Met Gala, and based on the principle of
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San Andreas Speaks Out: It Wasn’t Their Fault
By Lola Gilmore LOS ANGELES, CA — In the wake of a minor earthquake that occurred 17 miles southeast of
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San Diego Zoo Saves Antelope From the Freedom of 3.552 Million Square Miles of African Sahara Desert
By Jessica Wild SAN DIEGO, CA — This holiday season, a Sahara Desert antelope was given the gift of new
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Coronavirus Tests Positive for Ed Sheeran
By Staff SUFFOLK, ENGLAND — Expressing regret that it hadn’t taken precautionary action against the singer-songwriter, the Coronavirus announced today
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CDC Suggests Deterring Delta, Beta Variants by Asking Them to Name Five Brothers
By Sarah Cortina “Frat houses…” by techbint is licensed under CC BY 2.0
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Area Man Definitely Not Compensating for Anything
By Alexandra Ornes “Blue Origin New Shepard NS-10 Ignition” by NASA Flight Opportunities is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0 Modified from Creative Commons
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World Crisis Makes Ex Boyfriend Not Seem So Bad Right Now
By Angie Stroud LOS ANGELES, CA – There’s something in the air for local woman Paige Wilson. No not love,
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Queen Finally Defeats Zombie Prince Phillip
By Alexandra Ornes LONDON, UK – After years of battle, on Friday morning the Queen finally defeated the Zombie form
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Whale Found Dead off the Coast of Italy Actually Just a Large Seafood Calzone
By Emily Torp NAPLES, ITALY — After initially reporting they found an enormous whale carcass off the southern coast, the
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