“America’s Got Talent” Cancelled Because We Don’t
by Staff LOS ANGELES — The hearts of bored mothers everywhere were broken on Monday when NBC announced startling news: the Read more
World
Three Little Pigs Not Allowed to Testify, Big Bad Wolf Acquitted
By Seth Woodhouse THE BIG WIDE WORLD — The Aesopnate voted narrowly Friday to bring the imscreechment trial of the Read more
All the Memories From Before Mom Died That Are Now Available On Disney+
By Drew Thomas-Nathan ANAHEIM, CA — The streaming wars are heating up, and your entertainment overlords over at the Walt Read more
Heartwarming: Nick and Joe Always Let Kevin Press the Button in the Elevator
by Ethan Thomson The Jonas Brothers’ Happiness Begins tour is about as hot as Nick and Joe right now. While Read more
Youngest Child Kind of a Dud
By Amanda Douglas PLEASANTON, CA – Reputable sources recently confirmed what everyone in his life already knew: second-grader Lawrence Duncan, Read more
“Something Ain’t Right,” Says Man Stopping to Hear the Leaves Rustle
By Drew Thomas-Nathan BUMFUCK, WY — It was a sunny, hazy afternoon when a red Ford pickup truck pulled over Read more
Morning Mom Report: Your Cousin Tommy Is Engaged
By Charlotte Phillipp According to a phone call by Mom this morning, your cousin Tommy Jankowski, 31, proposed to his Read more
Study Finds Students Retain Information Better If They Hand-Write It Instead Of Typing The Phrase ‘Snail-Penis’ Until The End Of The Lecture
By Finn Kobler The Pew Research Center recently released a bold claim that’s been impacting colleges across the country: students Read more
Woman Fishing for Compliments Accidentally Catches Big, Gross Halibut
By Amanda Douglas SAN FRANCISCO, CA — California native Olive Hayes was fishing for compliments at friend Angie Clark’s engagement Read more