President Pre-Emeritus and fearless leader, I was born in a small log cabin in the pre-colonial colonies. Notorious for my ruthless thirst for power, I clawed my way to the top after stumbling upon a Sack of Troy in its weak state. Hiding behind the guise of free snacks and friendly emojis, I convinced its writers to bend to my rule. Shhhhh…
#kimpeach2012