Roski Student Gets Job
by Chad Lonski USC -- Sam Miller, a Roski School of Art and Design student studying Free Spirit Expressionism and Read more
articles
“I Literally Have No Time During Finals,” Reports Comm Student From Disneyland
by Katarina Brandt SPACE MOUNTAIN—On Tuesday afternoon, communications major Jessica Gilmore reported from the line of Space Mountain that she Read more
Out of Touch Doctors Without Borders To Merge With Doctors With Barnes & Noble
by Michael Savio THE THIRD WORLD – After months of speculation regarding the company’s possible filing for bankruptcy, the non-governmental Read more
God Doubles Height of Catholic Center Steeple to Match Height of University Village
by Rob Smat USC -- It’s official, Yahweh has declared a major in architecture. When residents of the north end Read more
Student Can’t Decide If He’ll Intern at Father’s Company or Do Some Volunteer Bullshit This Summer
by Mimi Evans LOS ANGELES, CA — Sophomore Paul Sterry was at Chipotle late Wednesday night in hopes of solidifying Read more
Smart! This Girl Took Birthday Pictures for Her Friends’ Facebook Walls Early This Year!
by James Osborne What a genious! Citing the difficulty experienced last year in finding the perfect naturally taken picture to Read more
Treasury Makes 3/5ths Compromise, Puts Harriet Tubman on $12 Bill
by Thomas Marshall US TREASURY -- A nationwide poll was conducted recently, and abolitionist Harriet Tubman was chosen to be Read more
Local Man Mildly Miffed by Excessively Long Receipt After Buying One Thing
by Jack Hackett, Chai Karve, and Tarek Roshdy CVS -- After going through self-checkout, Local man Terry Rivers received an Read more
Student Can’t Parallel Park, Parks a Mile Away
by Jonathan Yoo A SPOT FAR, FAR AWAY -- Jonathan Driver was running late to his first day of work Read more
Roommate Worried Refrigerator Notes Not Passive Aggressive Enough
by Jessica Tang USC -- Walking into the kitchen of her apartment, local roommate Jenny Yang reportedly felt worried that Read more