Only Student to Show Up to Thursday Night Class on Game Day
by Jack Hackett and Thomas Marshall A LONELY CLASSROOM–Colton Stock, a sophomore, made the unfortunate decision to schedule a thursday
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articles
Controversy Over Whether Climate Change Event Actually Happened
by Kim Rogers USC allegedly hosted “Know Tomorrow” last week, an event consisting of a variety of activities and programs
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It Rained Today, Drought Over
by Jack Hackett and Katarina Brandt SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA–Residents all over Southern California looked outside and witnessed water falling from the
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USC to Sponsor 500 Syrian Refugees, Only Charging $30,000 Per Student
by Staff USC’s Associate Vice Provost of International Ventures announced last Tuesday the university’s commitment to helping 500 refugees of
Read moreNASA Recalls Claim, Water On Mars Actually Just Leak In Rover
by Jack Hackett HOUSTON, TX–On Monday September 28, 2015, NASA scientists verified the existence of water on Mars after a
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Rini Insulter to Deliver Bouquet, Hand-written Apology Note
by Staff “Time to bring out the ol’ oops-I-was-racist-sorry-about-that stationery,” said Ross Bragett, external relations chair of the insult and Read more
USC Launches SCampaign to Add ‘On!’ After More Verbs Around Campus
by Thomas Marshall In an effort to raise campus awareness of the ubiquitousness of the ‘Trojan family,’ this past Wednesday,
Read moreBanned From Drinking in the Locker Room, Sarkisian Plans on Drinking on the Sidelines
by Benji Stoll LOS ANGELES, CA — Following Head Coach Steve Sarkisian’s embarrassing drunken episode at the Salute to Troy
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Visions And Voices In Last Ditch Effort Book Off-Broadway Star’s Cousin’s Neighbor’s Friend
by Amanda Suarez Get excited! The Visions and Voices events coordinator is anticipating record ticket sales anywhere from 90-105 for their
Read moreMinnesota Dentist’s Practice Now to Offer Elephant Ivory Fillings
by Annalise Pasztor BLOOMINGTON, MINNESOTA– After several days back at work as the most hated dentist on this side of
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